“I don’t think you should give him/her another chance. That’s not how it works,” said every human, who at some given point had to assume the role of a relationship expert when sharing their ‘wisdom.’
Now that you’ve read what you did, you’re probably smirking or sheepishly smiling a little, maybe? Because I know you’re guilty, I’ll be honest I’m sure of being guilty of this whenever my objectivity decided to go on a vacation. Who are we to determine how it works? But are we anyone to blame? Not really I would say.
Thanks to the internet, glossy magazines, social media, expert columns, we’ve been hardwired to believe that things are “Supposed to work a certain way.” Let me elaborate…
Starting with the internet, listicles featuring 5 signs he/she is into you, 7 reasons you should dump him/her have subconsciously acted as think tanks in our perception of contemporary relationships (I’m sure you’re thinking you’re too wise to fall prey to silly online listicles, but they hold a stronger effect than you can measure.) Unfortunately, teenagers are growing up to make decisions based on these so called harmless listicles.
Going a step back to print media, glossy magazines continue to enjoy a fairly high readership and sales because they answer the ”why” and “how to” question for young adults and middle-aged individuals. For instance, why is your relationship running out of spice? Or how to bring back the lost charm in your relationship.
And of course, the relationship expert columns! Courtesy human psychology, most people start comparing their relationship to another reader’s and what is the brilliant outcome? They give birth to a problem that didn’t even exist in the first place!
Apologies for jumping around from one point to another, but the impulse is relevant; social media is an extension of every listicle, glossy magazine or expert column. Today, every social media user is slightly insecure of NOT being as happy as the other person. Popularly known as F.O.MO (Fear of missing out) a huge lot today is getting into a relationship just so they can talk about it on social media, call it conformity bias or FOMO, the result is the same- Superficial relationships that last no longer than a game of chess (Whoever said exaggeration wasn’t permissible :P)
I’m going to stop drawing references now and hit the nail now, get to the reason I wrote this post in the first place. The media mix that has acted as think tanks have led to “Generalization of relationships.” In other words, it has built a belief that the rules are the same for every relationship, which isn’t the case because no matter how similar we’re as humans we forget the age old catch phrase, “Each to his own.”
P.S: The next time you start applying generic theories to a relationship, take a quick moment to recall the rule, “Each to his own.” Until next time, #StayCurious J